Forgot About the Stars
Marron stared up at the stars. She wrapped her arms around herself from the sudden breeze. Her long blonde hair moving in the wind. Everything moved in rhythm in the wind. If it didn't move it stopped. But the wind didn't stop the tears coming down her face.
"Why must it be like this?? How does it always end up like this?" I screamed my frustration at the stars. I sat back down with a 'thud'.
"No one ever listens to me. Why.... I don't know. Maybe if I fought they would listen, but why?? If they don't accept me for who I am, why do they even bother??" I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't hear the sound of him coming near me.
"Maybe because, you are so happy-go-lucky." He chuckled at his stupid joke.
"Shut-up, Trunks. I don't feel like yelling at you today. Go back, to whatever place you were." I could almost hear his smile drop off his face.
He is so arrogant. Just as bad as his father, but he can be worse. He is spoiled and mean. But he can be sweet and nice when he wants to be. That is what made me fall for him.
As I look at her I can't help but smile. I know something has happened but she won't tell me. She has grown up a lot. From a crybaby tattle-tale to a smart beautiful woman. A shy and sensitive woman. But that doesn't keep me from falling for her. I just wish she would open up to me more. If she would talk to me like Pan does.
I have to try again. I won't sound so cocky this time. "Marron, why do you feel neglected?" She turns to me with fire blue eyes. I take a step back.
"Trunks, you will never understand. How can you?? You have everything, and you could get it if you didn't have it. I am neglected. No one has ever took the time to get to know me. Think about it. Who has ever said to anyone, 'Did you see the way Marron looked today? I think something is wrong.' No one has. I might as well be invisible." I stand shocked. But I know she is right. I don't know what she is going through. But I can at least try to understand it.
"Marron, you're wrong." She looks at me strangely again. But I keep going.
"You're parents care," she grunted in reply.
"And Marron, I care. I wouldn't have asked if I didn't. I like you. We were childhood friends and I hope we stay that way. Just try to let me understand what you're going through. Please....."
I stared at him. Should I believe him. I almost cried out about the 'friends' part. 'I don't want to be your friend!!' I almost shouted but held it in. I love him so much, but he can't love me. He will never realize it either. And for that I hate him. But how can you hate someone you love so much? "Trunks I will tell you, but you won't understand." I motion for him to sit next to me. The grass is wet underneath us, but who cares. I sigh and begin my story.
"Trunks, my life wasn't all that great. I never had any friends when I was growing up. You and Goten treated me like trash and Bra and Pan were still babies." I sighed but continued.
"When we were younger, did you really think about me? My own parents forgot about me sometimes. I try to rebel, but who will listen? I try to fight, but who will train me? I try to run away, but where will I go? I have no where to go. No one loves me. And I have nothing to do with my life. Then to make matters worse, people think I am some kind of dumb blonde. I have a collage degree!! I am not dumb. I am useless. What exactly can I do. I feel so....."
I couldn't stand listening to her. She is wrong. I love her. I know I do. But why does she feel this way?? I never knew. And I know she is right on some things. I didn't notice her growing up. How can I be so dense?
"Marron-chan, you are wrong." She looked at me with a watery blue gaze. My heart ached.
"Marron, someone loves you." She snorted and turned away. "Marron look at me." I must have surprised her with my tone of voice. I cupped her face in my hands. I realized then, I wasn't ready to tell her I loved her yet. Not now. I hesitated then asked in a softer, calmer tone. "Don't you have any dreams? Anything that helps you get by?"
I was certain he was going to say something else. I don't know. But I do know I feel more comfortable when I am near him. I wouldn't meet his gaze. But I tried. I skipped a beat. Did he really care for me? I can think about that later. I sighed. "Trunks, yes. Ever since I was little I always looked up to the stars for an answer. They at least, I thought they listened to me. I didn't have to pretend to be someone or something I am not. I made a wish when I was younger. I wished to find love and to be free. But I don't think it will come true. Some things the stars don't even know."
I listened to her go on about the stars. I feel like crap. Why didn't we ask her to come to space with us? Why? Why did I treat her like trash as kids? Why didn't I notice her more? Why didn't I tell her I love her earlier? Why can't I tell her now? If only she knew why I did the things I did. I did them because I cared. But that doesn't sound right? Do I really love her? Maybe I can make it up to her. I must make her wish come true. Maybe I do love her.
When I finished I turned to look at him. He seemed lost in thoughts. I knew it. He said he would listen. There is no one in the park besides us. But he can still find something more interesting than me. Why dammit?? All my life I have been through hell. And I don't say a word. Not one damn word. No more pretending. No more hiding. No more secrets. It all comes out now or never.
"Trunks how could you? I try to tell you something, but you are not even listening. Just when I thought you actually cared you go off into la la land." I couldn't help it. The tears came harder. 'Why? Why can't anyone ever love me? What did I do to deserve this?'
I couldn't stand it. I watched in pain as the sobs racked her body. I have to tell her now. There might never be another chance. I hope I can get through this.
"Marron, stop it now. I was listening to you. But I was thinking of something important too." She looked at me with a puzzled expression in her eyes.
"I was thinking about how you never really opened up to me before. I think this is your first time. Pan started talking to me after our trip. We became good friends. But..." She stood up. She was shaking all over. "Great Trunks. I don't want to hear about you and Pan. Why are you telling me this? I am opening up to you. But it seems like you don't care. Trunks I have a secret I wanted to tell you for a while. I love you but I hate you. Damn! You started telling me about Pan. Why? I am trying to talk about my life. You can't go...." I couldn't stand it. She wasn't making any sense. But she did say she loved me.
"Marron shut the hell up!! I wanted to tell you I love you!! Not about Pan. I was trying to make you realize other people get neglected too. Have you ever thought about me? I am neglected too. I am not the great warrior as my counterpart. I am not smart. I am not even happy most of the time. But you keep going on and on about how screwed up your life is. Take time to think about someone else's." I breathed in deeply. I know I shouldn't have shouted, but that was the only way to get to her. I bow my head down to the ground. I don't really know why, but I can't meet her eyes.
I look at him. He said he loves me. I should have taken the time to listen to him. Why didn't I? I breathed in deeply. His head was still bowed down. 'Why am I so nervous?' "Trunks, look at me." I still stood where I was when his eyes met mine. "I am sorry. I should have taken some time to think about others too. But do you think they need to take the time to listen to me? Or even think of me." I sighed. How am I going to explain this to him.
I know what she was trying to say. A poem came in my head when the thoughts came to me.
I think of you.
Why can't you think of me too?
Is it because you don't like me,
Or is it because you are too blind to even see.
That everyone has problems, even someone insignificant as me.
It best described how she felt. Or how I thought she felt. I walked
her. "Marron, you don't have to say anything. I understand." I tilted
face. It shone in the starlight. The tear stains were still evident. A
would be nice.
But I knew she needed to be held. I wrapped my arms around her. She looked into my eyes. I don't know what she was searching for. But her gaze didn't last long. She buried her face in my chest and cried. I patted her back and telling her it was going to be all right.
I knew he cared. But I knew something else too. I loved Trunks. I know
really did. And I knew he loved me. He thought I was crying about
else. I wasn't. I was crying because I would have to give up the only
We weren't meant for each other. But that's what I think. I looked him in the eyes. Those pretty blue eyes. I saw love. But we just couldn't be together. I really want to know why, but I just don't. Some things were not meant to be. But why?? I broke off my hug from him.
going to be hard enough. "Trunks, can I show you something?" He looked
confused. But this was too important. We sat on the grass.
In silence, until I finally spoke up. "Trunks look at the stars. Whenever you think of me, think of them."
He took my hand. And in a soft voice said, "Marron why? I don't understand."
This was going to be too hard. But I still have to go on. "Trunks, wish on a star. Trust me. The wish may not come right away, but it might. Always remember that." I knew he was getting worried. "But why?" I still had to go.
"Trunks, just promise to think of me and the stars if you have time." I got up. I had to do this. I finally found love. But I knew we just couldn't be together.
I don't know what to think of. Why is she telling me this. Something is going to happen, but what? And will it be good. I got up to look at her. Tears were coming out her eyes again. I took her by the arm. I needed to know what was going to happen. "Marron, tell why you are telling me this?"
It was going to happen now. I am not ready yet!! But it has to be done. I t was a while before I answered him. "Trunks, this is hard for me. But I have to leave you. We can't be together. I don't know why. But we can't. So please understand."
For me, my whole world began to crumble. Why did she just say that? How can I understand? What am I going to do now? She probably sensed my anger and broken heart. She came into my arms. Why.... why does she have to do this?
I don't know what I am going to do now. I love him so much. He ,loves
can't we be together. Damn!! I just found my true love tonight. And I
loose him tonight. I know he is mad. But he isn't as mad as I am. I
more than anything, but I can't have him.
I look up into his eyes. I see a blur of blues. I have cried more tonight than I have in my whole life. I told him my story. The way people misunderstand me, the way the look down on me, the way I am neglected, the way I care too much about things. But this is different. He cares for me too. I have to do this. I only wish I knew why, I have to do this.
I wish I could hold her like this forever. Why is she doing this to me? Does she know she's breaking my heart?
I have to do this now. "Trunks, I am so sorry. I can't control our
He cut me off. "Marron, what the hell am I suppose to do now!! Don't you know how much I love you? Don't you even care how I am feeling?"
I am going to cry again. "Yes I know Trunks!! I am going through the same pain. Don't talk to me like I don't know. I love you so much and this hurts to much."
I got out of his hold on me. "As for what you are suppose to do now, forget about me. Forget about tonight. Forget everything I told you. Forget.... about the stars!!" I was hysterical. I knew I was. I wiped my tears away. I looked at him. He had tears coming down his face.
"Marron, I could never do that. But I will try to move on. I just wish I could understand this better. Before you go, remember that I love you. I will love no one else like you either." I smiled, just a little. That was so sweet. He came and kissed me one last time. I wish it wasn't our last time. He wiped all my tears away.
"I love you too Trunks." I kissed him. I kissed him like there was no tomorrow. I don't know what I will do now, but it better be worth it, for me to give up so much. After we parted, I looked at him. Why does this hurt so much??
TrunksLover: I don't own DBZ/GT. So please don't sue.
Ai-chan: *sniff*Miz touched...